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Ms. Warlena

"Everything in life is dependant upon something else, down to the success or failure of an individual. In 2003, everything is valued by how much it is worth, not how much it can make and with the volatile lifestyle of America’s youth role model is an investment few are willing to make. The purpose of a role model is to provide a child with something to aspire to and gives sets up boundaries in a child’s life. While attempting to achieve these aspirations, the child is seeking the approval of their role model. There have been times when a role model’s opinion was the only thing that stood between a child and a bad decision.

Role model, however, is an adult label to a childlike action, kids simply say, “I wanna be just like ‘so and so’ when I grow up”, and from that moment on, that person has been elevated in that child’s life, and often times, a good role model never knows. They go on living their life the best way they know how and one day, that child, now an adult, finally gets up the nerve to pull them to the side and say,

“I always wanted to be just like you when I grew up.”

I grew up in a low income community that was all of seven buildings. Our building, 1234, was exactly in the middle with three buildings on either side, making ours the meeting place.

Originally, it was nine of us – kids in the neighborhood who played together everyday. In the summer, our mother’s would grab a chair and sit at the bottom of the stairs gossiping about all the stupid things their kids did all week. Usually, some of the other kids’ mother would come out, stand and talk for a little while, but usually it was just three. Of the mothers, it always seemed like my mother had the most kids because the other mothers had grown children who were out of the house: June, had Popcorn, Teresa, Adam, and Debra – little Chris came later, much to everybody’s surprise. My mother had Danielle, Me, Malcolm – Ebon’e, Cierra, and Jana’e came later. Mary had Danielle and Tony, and Warlena had Tony, Smokie, Howard, Herbie, and Dee Dee.

Adam, Debra, Daniell’e, Malcolm, Danielle, Tony, Herbie, Dee Dee and me, all played together right outside never leaving the watchful eyes of our ever mindful mothers. During the school year they usually just met at the bottom of the stairs to herd us in for the night, gossiping briefly over what happened on the stories that day. They were good mothers, and they were friends, each knew everything there was to know about the others children and had a hand in raising them.

It wasn’t until I was much older, that I realized there were not many professional women in the neighborhood. Oh, there were other people there, we just did not have contact with them because they did not have any children, but all the neighbors were quick to tell if we got out of line. But in that circle of mothers, Mary, June, Warlena, and my mother, only Warlena worked. The others were ‘stay at home moms,’ and I am not to sure if they consciously made the decision not to work, or if they just didn’t work.

Ms. Warlena was married with five children. Her youngest, Herbie and Dee Dee were our age. Very rarely did she have Herbie, bring one of her kitchen chairs downstairs to sit outside. I am sure she did, but all I can remember is seeing her walking to the bus stop, going to work the same time we were all going to school. She worked downtown in the courthouse and for all I know she still does.

She is a tall woman and I think that height was as much a reality as it was the way she carried herself. Like the other mothers when she saw us doing something we had no business, she reprimanded us. Sometimes, like when we walked downtown to Woolworth’s, she would be on her lunch break and see us. She spoke and received the same respect as the mothers who sat at the bottom of the stairs. Sometimes we would over hear the other mothers muttering together about her thinking she was better than the rest of them, being catty as women can be.

Her presence in the neighborhood was more important to me than I realized. Just by her everyday actions she helped shape the person I have become. She showed me there was something else a woman could be in addition to being a mother, not in spite of. Her home, even though it was in the same place as ours, was a little bit nicer because she could afford to get the little extras that made a house a home. Her children, went shopping for new clothes instead of swiping donation bags from the Goodwill across the street.

She had an air about herself that encourage little foolishness. When she came around everybody stood a little straighter, and when she spoke we felt honored that she knew our names. Both she and the mothers are an asset to a community, they hold it together just by being seen. Somewhere along the line, adults stopped caring who, how and what their children were exposed to, and they gave aged them too fast. Too many children carry the weight of the world and that is a burden to be shouldered by adults who can make a difference."

Melva L. Florance

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